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It started out as any other swap does, really. I can’t remember now whether it was they who contacted us or we them but it seems irrelevant now because they are such good friends. It was quite a few years ago now, we were hankering after New England again, after falling in love with Cape Cod and the surrounding areas on previous exchanges.

'How ‘bout New Hampshire..there is a big lake there, one of the biggest, called Winnepesaukee...has everything we would want to do - swimming, boating, water sports... and hey, this exchange has it’s own lake!' And it did. It was a glorious house situated in the middle of 9 acres of woodland with its own beach on its own lake. Half Moon Lake. How romantic it sounded!! The owners were interested in our house too, and thus began what was to be a long and rewarding friendship. Our house was convenient for this family who were just like us - three kids from an American-British alliance who needed to visit relatives across the pond. Bill is British and his Dad lives in Wiltshire. Our house was just far enough away to allow them space but not too far away that travelling to see Dad would be a problem. I like to think, too, that they liked our house, with its oldy worldy feel, its luscious back garden full of fruit trees and a grapevine and its convenient placement in one of the most charming villages in Southern England. Cookham is a wonderful village, full of spirit and community and harbouring some of the best pubs around. Its placement on the Thames is ideal for swimming, boating, fishing and walking but also retains the luxury of being within spitting distance of London, a mere 23 miles to Paddington Station!

And, as for Half Moon Lake! Well, we called it 'our little piece of paradise'. It was a beautiful part of the world, not far from the White Mountains, nestled in glorious woodland which opened out onto a sparkling blue lake. We were equipped with our own beach and Indian canoe which we took out almost every day. The house was spacious and had everything we needed. A blueberry farm just a stone’s throw away made an ideal walk from the house through the woods. One day, we brought home sixteen pounds of hand-picked New England blueberries! They were big and juicy and purple and we must have eaten them every day of our holiday! It was so peaceful at Half Moon Lake and, in the mornings we would get up and watch the deer munching the grass only metres from the front door. We put up a special bird feeder and watched the humming birds defying gravity as they sipped the honey nectar from the little tray. We took spectacular treks in the White Mountains an hour North of the house and forayed to the beaches of Vermont. Visiting lovely old cities like Concord was a treat as many of the towns there have been careful to maintain a last century charm. The local towns also had a charm of their own, from the old fashioned Five and Dime to the picturesque post office! But mostly, we just enjoyed our own little beach and paddling around in our own little canoe (so fond we became of their canoe, that we bought our own last summer!) We enjoyed having our own little wood to explore and our own patch of meadow in which to practice archery and play volleyball.

I think Bill and Jenny and the kids must have also enjoyed staying in our home with our fertile vegetable patch and our fruit trees and the regular visits from my mother-in-law laden with fresh raspberries and such. They felt comfortable in our home as if it were theirs and on return visits, they often say they feel like they are visiting their own house!

When Roger and I exchange (and we have been exchanging since 1992 or thereabouts), we always try our best to meet our exchangers at the beginning of the exchange, even if it is to hand over car keys at the airport over a quick cup of coffee. It has just always made such a difference to meet each other face to face. This exchange was no exception and we arrived a day early to meet our exchangers. We spent our first night in a local hotel and met the next day so Bill could show us the house. We clicked right away and so did the children. In fact, we all got on so well, and both parties had such a delightful holiday, that we kept in touch and when I lightly joked over email one day, that I would exchange again in a heartbeat, the immediate response was a wholehearted agreement and so the following year another exchange was hastily arranged before either of us could change our minds. (As if that could happen!!)

We had no problem having as heavenly a holiday as the first one and after our first exchange, Bill, in particular, became a regular visitor as he trekked across the pond several times a year to check on his father. It was my own reticence that prevented us from exchanging again the third summer. I didn’t want them to feel bullied into exchanging with just us every year but had I known that they were feeling the same way, there would never have been a gap. But a gap there was, to a wonderful exchange to Spain. But that’s another story!

So, after Spain, and sharing with each other our holiday adventures, we agreed to exchange a third time and, although they had intended to sell their wonderful house in New Hampshire, they delayed putting it on the market just so we could exchange with them again! Now we see Bill and Jenny often and it is only circumstance that they couldn’t join us for Thanksgiving this year. (I am American so celebrate this holiday every year).

Both our eldest children are boys and both 16, although Bill’s son is slightly older so is a year ahead at school. We often discuss the differences in America and England and on one occasion, we were discussing the school systems. Born of this conversation was an idea to swap the boys so they could experience each other’s lives for a week! They get on really well and were totally excited about this. Bill’s son came first and I organised for him to visit my son’s school. He is a delightful boy, so polite and congenial. We loved having him with us. The boys also spent most of the week together and I think our American guest ended up having more than a few female admirers! My son decided to do his work experience whilst in New England so Bill gracioulsy rustled something up for him. However, I think this was the cushiest ‘work’ experience ever organised! They spoiled him rotten and he didn’t want to come home! It was a unique experience for our boys with their growing independence, but I was also relaxed in the knowledge that my son was staying with such good friends.

Journalists writing articles about home exchange always want to know about the downsides to swapping homes (which is fair enough for a balanced article). Although we hear of few problems and most of these are minor or down to lack of care in planning, the one cause of dissatisfaction that crops up most often is simply a difference in housekeeping standards. A couple of home exchangers recently touched on particular aspects of this:

Make Sure Your Home Passes the 'First Impressions' Test

One day this summer, I received a message with the alarming subject line, 'really bad home exchange experience'. The contents of the message were not nearly so onerous as I had expected (and, I was relieved to know that D.O., the writer, wasn't a Home Base Holidays member!) D.O. felt, though, as we publish this regular newsletter, that her story would be a useful one for our members to hear - and it is). Briefly, D.O. left her home in the USA for her family's exchange partners' home in France a day earlier than her husband and children. All went well with the exchange but, on the family's return home, D.O. was upset to receive a rather scathing email from the French exchangers, detailing their disappointment with the state of her home on their arrival. Having had her house and car professionally cleaned shortly before the trip, and leaving some thoughtful touches like gourmet food in the fridge and special toiletries in the bathroom, it is understandable that D.O. felt hurt and puzzled by such a negative reaction to her home. She did give a strong clue to the crux of the problem in her message:

'I left for Europe a day earlier than my husband and kids so wasn't able to do the last minute pick up which, as a male, he does not have a very good eye for. When the French family arrived they (as reported in their email and apparently documented with photos) found a garbage can unemptied in the kitchen, a couple of socks on the floor in the hallway, a tipped over hamper in the children's room, and some clutter on the master bedroom dresser.'

It does seem a shame that the family D.O. exchanged with couldn't get beyond their bad first impressions of her home (they don't sound like particularly good home swapping candidates) but, at least, D.O. knew what she had to do on any future exchanges - make sure that potential exchange partners seemed compatible and be there herself to take care of the last minute tidy up in her home. Read the full version of this story on our home exchange blog (link below).

The Clean-up Before Leaving an Exchange Home

Funnily enough, an issue that must affect many home exchangers - how to deal with last minute cleaning and laundry at the end of an exchange when you need to leave very early in the morning to catch a flight - hadn't cropped up until recently when a member mentioned it. As this member was in this situation, both he and his exchange partner had arranged for cleaners to come in on the day of departure to save the worry of the last minute tidy up. But, on arrival back home, he found his home completely spotless and thelaundry done - before his cleaner had been in! Although he assured me he isn't a slob and didn't leave the other home in a mess, he did feel horrible when he realised his exchange partner was a bit upset to return to find superficial untidyness and unmade beds.

It doesn't seem like this member did anything wrong, having previously arranged for a cleaner to come in, but he found out too late that he had swapped with one of those people who probably always has a good clean-up before the cleaner comes! Perhaps, if it is likely that a cleaner won't be in before the arrival back of the home owners, it's best to take some time for a general clean and tidy-up the day before so that only a very quick once-over of bathroom and kitchen is needed the morning of departure plus changing the beds (an exchange partner, knowing you have an early departure, should provide extra bed linen and instructions on where to leave used bed linen and towels ready to be laundered).

The feature article in the last issue of this newsletter was a story, 'The Kindness of Strangers' by Rianna Scipio on her family's special home exchange to California. Rianna had entered her story in the First International Story Contest hosted by Travel and Transitions. It was delightful to see that Rianna had received an Honourable Mention for her story. Well done, Rianna!

Susanne Pacher from Travel and Transitions writes:

'We had hundreds stories submitted from contests participants from all over the world, and many of them were simply amazing. It took hundreds of hours to go through all the stories, but we are very proud to announce the winners.

The top stories impressed with their emphasis on learning and broadening our minds and an interest in cross-cultural connections. Some even had a philanthropic element to them, which illustrates that travel is not only able to open our minds, it can also open our hearts.'

Read Rianna's heart warming home swap story on Travel and Transitions, 'California Home Exchange'.

Often Home Base Holidays members talk about getting 'good vibes' about other members they are in contact with, an intuitive instinct to be able to judge which members are likely to make the best exchange partners. Trusting your instincts generally works well, and the vast majority of home exchangers are honest and take their commitments to other members very seriously. Although there are inevitably a very few members who won't be able to fulfill their side of an exchange agreement for valid reasons (e.g. serious illness in the family), even these members try their best to ensure exchange partners who have already booked air tickets can still either have use of their home, a friend's home or will offer help in finding alternative accommodation. In all the years Home Base Holidays has been operating there have only been a handful of occasions when we've felt that a member has been so badly let down, without a good reason, that the delinquent member has been banned from future membership to Home Base Holidays or our two partner agencies. It was very sad then, to receive a report this summer from the Bells, long term members who had been let down at the last minute on an agreed exchange to Spain.

From Jack Bell's report of the long run-up to this exchange (the Bells had initially approached Ms B. last October and she had agreed an exchange this September), there seemed to be very long gaps in communication from Ms B., a failure to answer questions or provide important information, she changed the agreed dates and finally, cancelled the exchange at two days' notice because 'my bathroom's broke' and she couldn't get a plumber. Ms B. offered no help in finding hotel accommodation and ignored requests for a written statement and some photos of the damage in the bathroom (for insurance purposes). Ms B. was a member of one of our partner agencies and has now been banned from membership.

At this stage, readers who have not yet had a home exchange may be feeling a little uneasy. The vast majority of exchanges take place without any hitches, and the newsletter content generally reflects this but, without wanting to alarm members unduly, it is important to be alert to communication problems such as the Bells experienced so that you can decide to withdraw an exchange offer well before making a firm commitment if the arrangement seems likely to be problematic. The Bells wrote:

'We realise in retrospect that we should have insisted that Ms B. book her flights, but I suppose, with so many good exchanges, one gets a bit complacent and a bit too trusting. However, this bad experience will not put us off as one out of 22 exchanges is not a bad record, but we have learned a lesson. We will continue to pursue home exchanges as we have had so many happy times over the years and have made so many lifelong friends world-wide.'

'The Holiday' is the story of a Christmas home swap arranged through a fictional home exchange agency, between Amanda (Cameron Diaz) and Iris (Kate Winslet), both in need of a change of scene after having man troubles. As well as Diaz and Winslet, 'The Holiday' also stars Jude Law and Jack Black.

OK ladies, I can't promise that you'll meet Judd Law, let alone fall in love with him, if you come to the UK on a home swap, but you will certainly have lots of choice of attractive home exchange offers! And, for a feel-good movie just right for the holiday period, 'The Holiday' sounds like a winner for home exchangers everywhere.

It will be fun to see how closely this movie resembles a 'real' home swap - and get your comments. It would be even better to hear from anyone who has had a real live romance while on, or as a result of, a home exchange.

The film opens on 8 December but I have been lucky enough to get free tickets to see a preview on 5 December (I will write a review on the blog next week). Although this newsletter will be going out four days after a promotion in 'The Evening Standard', if you are in the London area, do check out the blog post, Free Tickets to a Preview Screening of 'The Holiday' on 5 December, and you may still be in luck!

As long time Home Base Holidays members and subscribers to this newsletter know, Home Swappers Newsletter has been published regularly as a bi-monthly ezine since 1999 (in it's present format since 2002).

Some members have said that they prefer to print the newsletter and read it at their leisure. For this reason, articles are included in full (rather than as a short introduction with a link to the website to read complete articles). This does mean that some issues may seem quite lengthy. Other members have said they save each issue and return to read it more than once. Each newsletter is also published on the website where site visitors can read it.

With many members and newsletter subscribers now visiting the blog, Travel the Home Exchange Way, for regular posts on home exchange issues, now seems the right time to re-access the purpose and best way forward for the newsletter.

If you are reading this on or before 7 December 2006, please take a moment to complete the anonymous survey (link below).

Newsletter Contributions: We are always pleased to hear from members and subscribers and to receive contributions for the newsletter and weblog - short reports on your exchange experiences, tips you feel would be useful to those new to the idea of home swapping and any questions you have on home exchange. Please include 'home exchange' in the subject line when contacting us as messages with no subjects (or dubious sounding subject lines!) or unexpected attachments may end up in our spam folder and deleted unread.

Reading this on the Website? Use the newsletter subscribe link to add your email address and receive the newsletter regularly. If already on the list but not receiving your copy by email, there can be a number of causes:

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Be Alert: If you are a current member, and should ever receive an unsolicited (spam) message from an unknown agency which you think could only have got your name and email address from your Home Base Holidays listing, please forward it to us. The private member area on our website is for one-to-one exchange offers between members only, not for any other solicitations. It is important to be alert to potential scams on the internet (reputable businesses prominently display phone numbers and postal addresses on websites - and never send spam!)

Copyright: All Home Swappers content is copyright and cannot be used in any form without written permission from Home Base Holidays. However, please feel free to forward the newsletter (in full) to friends and colleagues who may be interested in home exchange (use the Forward Email link below the newsletter).

Further Information: Check the archives to read past issues of Home Swappers Newsletter. Also, don't forget to visit the Travel the Home Exchange Way weblog for regular information and updates plus special exchange requests. To receive notices by email whenever a new post is added (generally no more than three a week), add your email address to the box above 'Get email updates' in the left hand column of Travel the Home Exchange Way.

Home Base Holidays, London, UK 1985-2006: 21st year providing a home exchange service worldwide